The Chronicles of the Angry Geologist

I should never say that I am Bored

2008-07-06T01:12:20Z

I just found out that my dad dropped a 15 foot long, eight inch thick tree limb on my mom.

She went inside and cooked dinner. Then on my dad's insistence, they went to the hospital.

Nothing was broken, but I think a headdesk is appropriate here, don't you?

*headdesk*

Those Three Things meme

2008-07-06T00:54:46Z

I'm bored, I want to write something, and I don't know what. So I'm going to meme!

The one that's going around seems to be the one where you list three things you've done that you're pretty sure no one else on your list has done, and challenge people to say "I've Done That." So, let's give it a shot:

1) Tooled around in at least three active mines with the operator's knowledge and permission.

2) Cooked soup in a skillet.

3) Sexually harassed by a goat while attempting to make a call on a pay phone. Apparently, I sat in something good earlier that day.

Go for it.

We can all make the world a better place

2008-07-04T19:01:06Z

All of us, in our own special way, make the world a better place. For some, it's building and inventing; others, teaching and understanding; still others pursue justice and right old wrongs. The world is a better place because these people are in it.

And then you get the ones that make the world better by leaving it.

Fare thee well, Senator- I feel for your family, but I can't say I'll miss you.

Water Permit Hell

2008-07-04T18:33:44Z

I can't really go into specifics. The water hauler that Company T contracted was supposed to get water from cities B, C, and J. I had to have the letters from them saying they were able to sell water to them, and since the water hauler didn't seem to want to help me in a timely manner, I went directly to the cities. As it turns out, City B didn't know what the frak I was talking about. And then the water hauler got honked at me for going over his head.

Sometimes, this business is like being dumped into a room with hungry, poorly socialized chihuahuas while wearing hamburger pants. Your ass is going to get chewed no matter what, but the goal is to make it out without permanent scarring.

Oh, and Happy Independence Day, everyone!

Clean-out-the-fridge Pasta Sauce

2008-06-30T00:08:53Z

So... I made something today that probably doesn't sound very good, but ended up being... well... good.

I was making spaghetti, to start with. I had browned my ground beef, and added a clove of minced garlic. I pulled out the pasta sauce, and found that the mushrooms that I had in the fridge were now growing some fungus of their own. Yuck. Then I saw the forgettable lentil salad I made the other day- lentils, basalmic vinaigrette, carrots, and celery- and realized that it was about to go bad. So what did I do? I chucked it in the pot, and then threw the tomato-basil pasta sauce I had over it.

The result was surprisingly good. It kind of reminded me of Indian food and Italian food at the same time- fusion? Nah. But it was good. I'd even put it on sandwiches like sloppy joe mix.

Boom-de-yadda meme

2008-06-27T21:45:25Z

By now, I assume most of you have seen the new Discovery Channel commercial. If not, here it is:

This, obviously is not enough. There are many more awesome things in the world that are not mentioned in the video. XKCD has a pretty good start, but I think we can all do better. To play the game, post your lyrics in the comments, and then again in your journal. Challenge your friends! Here's mine:

I love old quarries,
I love the Celtic Games,
I love big dishes,
And towns with goofy names!
I love the whole world,
I wanna see more of it!
Boom de yadda
Boom de yadda
Boom de yadda
Boom de yadda

Take it away!

Never Ask The Universe How Much Worse It Can Get

2008-06-19T01:23:54Z

It will never fail to show you. Fortunately, it wasn't me this time, but it made me think enough to get me out of my emo mood.

There's a co-worker of mine that I like a lot. She's bright, she works hard and efficiently, she talks like Barbara Walters and makes jokes about it, and she's absolutely fracking hilarious out in the field. She's one of my favorite people to work with, and to give work because she gets it done right.

But she's said some things that make me go "bwuh?" before. Back in March when the primary was in full swing, we were eating breakfast together and she had something to the effect of, "I don't think women should be President, don't you? I mean, we're just too emotional." This statement combined with the image less than 24 hours old of this little pixie manhandling a generator gave me sufficient cognitive dissonance do the "baroo?" face. She immediately apologized, but I still had to wonder...

Yesterday, I found out. I was out on another job with her up in Northern Pennsylvania. I hadn't seen her in a while- she's become the main field person for another job- but then all of a sudden she was back in the office for like two weeks straight. It turns out her husband had said something to her about her working so much- he feels like a bachelor. She panicked, and asked for more time in the office because she was afraid he was going to leave her.

I also found out that she was handling her (abusive?) father's finances. He's an alcoholic and has related health problems, and the poor judgement that often goes along with that. At the rate that he was spending and getting himself into debt, he was going to end up homeless and with no money for a funeral- it's that bad. As the only one of her siblings who still speaks to him and is responsible enough, she took on the job and put the bulk of his money into an account that he doesn't have access to. Every time he needs money, he calls and she transfers it. Apparently, she's been getting the guilt trip lately, because she can't talk for hours while she's at work, or listen to him complain about how he sent her sister a birthday card and never got a letter back. I have a good relationship with my dad, and I chewed him a new one when he called me at work for a non-emergency one time! And she just kind of sits there and takes it, and worries if she's being a good enough daughter.

After I found these things out, I watched her trying to fix the broken pump in a new light. The guy at Equipment and Supply (whose gross incompetence I already posted about in bad_service) shouldn't have even let that pump get on the truck without checking the clamps, yet she blamed herself when she put it down the well on the assumption that it was in working order without checking the clamps first.

I've had problems with self-confidence/self-esteem in the past, so there but for the Grace of God go I. I feel so bad for her, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and help her undo all the damage from all the crap that life has thrown at her. All I could remember thinking was "Get this girl a self-esteem transfusion, stat!"

Indiana Jones

2008-06-07T13:26:39Z

So I saw my favorite ~~role model~~ movie series last night.

Proving the Lemon Demon song Ultimate Showdown wrong, Indiana Jones is officially the most badass ever. Chuck Norris never survived a direct hit from a nuclear weapon.

And I must get a fedora.

Required Reading for Anyone Considering McCain After Tonight

2008-06-04T03:09:13Z

I don't think there's anyone on my list about this, but this article details a big reason to stick with the Democratic nominee, even if he wasn't your first choice.

Essay: Repairing the Damage, Before Roe in the New York Times. Do not read if you're squeamish.

Some of the things that this guy has seen are nausea-inducing. How many more went to other doctors? How many more never made it to the doctor?

Although McCain is technically a "liberal-moderate" Republican, it's pretty clear that he opposes what amounts to a fundamental right for a woman to control what happens to her body. He has already stated that he will nominate more of the same old white conservative men to the Supreme Court, and two of the Justices are very, very close to retiring. When they go, there goes the liberal bit of the court, what little there was. And should they not be replaced by like-minded candidates, it's very much within the realm of possibility that Roe v. Wade could be overturned. That is nausea-inducing.

People, especially women, who are flying off the handle about Senator Clinton not getting the nomination kind of remind me of this "lady" here (post 282 here

As “bitter biddy” of 59, which I was called by a blogger on the Caucus (in the archives), why should I care? Fend for yourself. Let Roe v. Wade be overthrown. Younger women do not appreciate what battles older women fought, so do it all over again. We older folk, owe you younger people nothing.

— Posted by Margaret Coyne

o_O

Please don't. Just stay home if you really can't stomach an Obama presidency. Please. Don't.

Geeky Video of the Week

2008-06-03T23:25:16Z

Ganked from trollprincess

The Angry Geologist is In The Hole

2008-05-30T22:22:13Z

One of the awesome things about my job is that sometimes I get to see things that a lot of people never even think about.

Take cement. Boring, gray, your house is probably built on it, and you step on it every day. You probably never think about it, one of those icky bits of infrastructure that the general public tend to regard as highly as parasites in an ecosystem. But how it's made...

The heavy machinery in cement plants would make a monster truck fan lose control of his bladder- trucks with tires as tall as I am are required to truck in and move around the limestone from the quarry to the crusher, and over to the kiln. It's mixed with coal and turned in a rotary kiln, a steel tube that you could drive one of these trucks through a few thousand feet long, that spans between two buildings. In this particular plant, the result of this process, called clinker, is slapped on a two-mile conveyor belt to cool on the way to the finishing kiln. I probably haven't gone into half the detail I need to, but the one thing you need to know is that it's incredibly dusty and dirty. The kiln dust and limestone powder gets into and onto everything. I washed my hands for lunch today, and there is now a water line on my hands.

In this area, the limestone is quarried practically on site- there were several active quarries at one point, but two had to be abandoned because they were encroaching on the town. We had to do some water sampling in one, so we drove on the long-abandoned road down to the bottom.

And down...

And down...

A
N
D

D

O

W

N

.
.
.

It took us almost twenty minutes to reach the bottom. On the way down, we saw a deer; apparently there is a breeding population down there, protected from hunters and vehicles in a place with plenty of food and water. It's something that you could imagine speciation in a couple of hundred generations down the line.

One side of the quarry was cut along the dip face of the rock; the others are terraced vertically, but the eastern side just slopes gently down in. They had cut across two cave drainages, which we could see discharging along the slope.

We passed an abandoned rock crusher. The plant environmental manager who was with me said that it wasn't that long ago that it was still in operation, even after the quarry had shut down. Before they built the new one, the trucks used to come across from the other quarry and dump their loads over a cliff a few hundred feet down for it to be moved to this crusher.

We finally reached our sampling site- a small pond in the very deepest part of the pit. It looked small, but as I got close to it, I changed my mind. It was a 20 foot deep pool of the clearest natural water I had ever seen; it was like looking into clear blue-tinted glass. And right in the center of it was this little bass, looking up at us from the other side of the mirror surface.

Even looking back on it now, I can't even put into words how lucky I feel to have been there. Even if it was just a job.

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T23:44:48Z

Thank you:

First off, to the veterans, to those who made it back and those who didn't. That's who this holiday is for.

But also

To the coal miners and steel workers, on whose blood we built our society.

To the teachers, who got and still get about the same percentage of respect they deserve as their pay.

To the scientists, who have tried and are trying to tell the truths despite willful ignorance.

To the mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, and crazy aunts and uncles; do I need to say more?

To the sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, and nieces and nephews; do I need to say more?

To the holy men and women who devote their lives to good works, whether directly through a religion or not; by their works you will know them.

To everyone we love, and everyone we miss, and everyone who has yet to come into our lives.

Happy Memorial Day.

Events of the Poorly Advertised Kind

2008-05-26T23:38:27Z

I saw a poster this morning for the DIY Fest in Harrisburg at the Lower Paxton Youth Center. There will be bands, as well as seminars on knitting sewing, electronics, and other stuff to do-it-yourself. It's pretty poorly publicized, as this is the first I've heard of it, but it might be fun to get together with the other Neovictorian Pennsyltuckians. What do you say?

Rules Post

2008-05-24T01:28:11Z

Folks, it's about time that I posted some ground rules for this journal:

1) Be civil. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This doesn't mean that you have to always get along, but treat people nicely. No ad hominem arguing, no straw men, and absolutely no derogatory name calling is allowed. You have the freedom to say these things in plenty of places. You do not in my journal.

2) Trolls, spammers, assorted nuts, and those who invoke Godwin's Law will have their comments screened and given one chance to mend their posts and their ways. If they refuse to do so, they will be immediately banned, and all their previous posts replaced with the text of Dr. Seuss' Magnum Opus, "Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go NOW!" Because I can.

3) I snitch. If you threaten someone, post child porn, murder or rape someone, or do anything more illegal than swap music online or collect rocks from federal land without a permit, I will report your ass.

4) No anonymous comments. This encourages trolls, and I don't know who any of you people are anyway, so what's the big deal?

5) I collect IP addresses. I know where you're posting from, so don't even try it.

6) Antiscience, bigoted, and generally asshole-ish posts that are not edited upon request will be Marvined. Religion discussions are OK, unless they break the asshole clause.

7) This is my courtroom, I am the judge, and rulings are final. I will follow these rules, and I expect all readers to do this as well.

Bad Pun of the Day

2008-05-22T23:39:05Z

This one involves some geology, so the explanation is going to get a little long.

We're siting a well in Maryland, and one of our potential sites is in a park next to the MA & PA Heritage trail- actually very pretty down there. The whole thing was in a bit of a depression near a network of streams, and we agreed that this would probably be a good place to look for water.

Now, there is a geomorphological feature called a "kettle" in glacial terrain- it refers to a marshy depression.

I'll bet you can't guess what my boss said. No. Really. Try.

"Too bad we're not in glacial terrain- then we could call this the "Ma and Pa Kettle Site."

Nuclear Power and Global Warming

2008-05-21T02:50:59Z

Someone please explain to me exactly how nuclear power is supposed to solve the problem of carbon emissions. Seriously.

Okay, I realize that the actual reaction that boils the water that drives the turbine is carbon neutral. That's gravy. But where do you think they get the stuff that causes the reaction? Uranium ore is, unsurprisingly, a mineral. And minerals have to be mined- usually with explosives and machinery bigger than your house.

I'd really like to know what the nukes-will-save-us crowd thinks these machines run on- rainbows and kitten farts?

Goo Goo Ga Joob

2008-05-20T02:18:56Z

The New York Times has an article featuring the walrus.

I think they look like the English Mastiffs of the sea.

This Entry Is About Generational Politics

2008-05-20T02:10:58Z

If you don't want to hear it, here's a video featuring a very sleepy beagle.

I was watching CNN today while I was at the gym, mostly because it was on. Now, unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past six months plus, you can probably guess they're doing live election coverage, and even a news junkie like me is getting sick of it.

As I tread the mill for my thirty minutes, I was thinking about the candidates, their good points and bad points. McCain has been a soldier who has actually experienced war, and I think that much of the recent bluster is him pandering to the chickenhawk vote; he's better on the environment than most Republicans (even though that's like being the healthiest person in the cancer ward), and I think I could live with America under him. I wouldn't necessarily like it, but I wouldn't be looking for grad school opportunities in Canada like I did last time. Still, his economic policies suck- wouldn't you get the same effect as a tax cut for a longer period of time if you just raised the minimum wage?- I hate that he doesn't have a plan that doesn't involve "status quo" for health care, and I am extremely worried about his civil rights issues (and I include reproductive rights as civil rights, in case you're wondering).

Then I thought about Hillary- good policies, though I am uncomfortable about her health care plan. I don't think that having everyone buy coverage through insurance companies that already rip them off is going to change anything, and a mandate will make it impossible to pass. And the first woman president! That would be so cool for that to happen in my lifetime! But- and I know people are going to get mad at me for saying this- she would have never been considered as presidential material if her husband's name wasn't William Jefferson. In fact, I don't think anyone would have known her name. I'd like a Madam President, but I would prefer one that didn't have to ride her husband's coattails, and there are women like that out there. As uncomfortable as it makes me to say this, that's one of the reasons why I didn't vote for her in the primary.

And as most of you know, I am a proponent of Obama. I like his plans for health care and for Iraq, and while his environmental policies need work, he's the only one that's even considered reforming student and professional immigration, which will help my friends and colleagues. I am dismayed at some of the personal life issues that have been brought up- "sweetie"-gate, Rezko-gate, Weathermen-gate, Wright-gate- but I can see how those can happen. You have lunch with an English professor. You go to church and even though you disagree with 85% of the words coming out of your priest's mouth during the sermon, you sit through it anyway because you're not there to worship the priest. Someone turns out to be completely different than you thought. You use a damn colloquialism in an inappropriate situation, and someone blows it way out of proportion. Anyone not done one of these before?

Anyone?

And as I was watching CNN, I saw another distinction. McCain and Clinton are both of the previous generation of leaders, and... betrayed is too strong a word, but that generation of leaders were not faithful to the promise of this country.

The United States of America has done so much. My grandparents saved the free world and ended the Holocaust, coming back just in time to rebuild the world's economy. The next generation secured voting rights, civil rights, and freedom of expression, and still found time to land a man on the moon. The generation after integrated the workplaces of the US, and fought to clean our rivers and air. And then we got the Eighties, and Reaganomics, and then Bushanomics and the Persian Gulf War. Clinton got his blowjob on a relatively halfway decent presidency, and do I really need to tell you what a shithole this country has turned into the past eight years?

Where are the things I was promised? Why has our space program stalled? Why are we still fighting stupid, pointless wars over a resource we should have long since abandoned for something better? Why are we dumping mountains into stream valleys? And where the frack is my DSV?!?

The previous generation did not just sit on their hands, but the leaders have failed, descending into bickering and airing dirty laundry instead of leading. And the previous generation doesn't seem to have the energy to do anything about it other than stare at CNN. But the previous generation gave my generation life- and now it's up to us to do something with it.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

The Angry Geologist and The Kids

2008-05-19T00:33:16Z

So, The Kid stopped by again today. I had just finished planting my garden and setting up the hummingbird feeder- something that I'm going to put out wherever I go as a way to remember Baba. It's a cheap plastic one, when I really would have preferred a glass one with fiddly bits to tie my eclectic porch together, but it's one she would have gotten.

So, I'm sitting there, Roland on the tie-out that's attached to my couch, enjoying my new porch garden. Besides the hummingbird feeder, it's got tiger lilies (another one from Baba), tomatoes, marigolds, impatiens, spinach, sweet red peppers, Kung Pao hot peppers (there's also an ornamental thai hot in my kitchen), basil, green onions, parsley, dill, morning glory, and this nice little poofy flower that I can't remember the name of right now. It's not alyssum, but it sort of looks like it. Anyway. That's when I saw The Kid. He had a scooter this time, not a bike, and he came careening across the parking lot on it to pet Roland. And he did- came over, asked questions about both Roland and the hummingbird feeder, and the garden- and then his friends came over. I saw his mom very briefly- she must be OK with The Kid coming over.

But man, three little boys all asking questions at once, and trying to pet the dog, and trying to see what's in your garden, it's all a little overwhelming. Even Roland got a little bit tired of it. By the end of it, both him and I were backed up against the porch door, surrounded by kids. I eventually got them to go home by telling them that Roland was tired, so that's good.

So... Angry Geologist as neighborhood babysitter. Yeah, I didn't see it coming either. Next time I'm in Indiana, I'll make more of an effort to stop at the outcrop of fossiliferous limestone and get them some brachiopods or horn coral.

The Angry Geologist and The Kid

2008-05-14T22:59:00Z

There's a cute little neighbor kid that lives in my unit that always comes running up to talk to me and pet Roland. He's of a certain ethnicity, and his parents don't speak English as a first language, with all the difficulties for all parties involved. There's a couple of families of the same ethnic group that sort of hang out together, and sometimes I think he comes to talk to me for a change of pace because I'm different from his family, I have a dog, I always answer questions, and maybe because... well, I know how mean kids can be because you're different.

Today he must have really needed a chat, because he was waiting for me when I got out of my car. After we talked about Speed Racer for a minute, and I explained about the security badge I have to wear to work, I tried to excuse myself.

"Why?" he asked in that innocent way of kids.

"I have to get Roland and take him for a walk before it rains."

"Why?"

"So he doesn't get wet!"

"Why?"

"Because wet dog smells really bad!" I was officially Home Late at this point, and I didn't want to delay Roland's walk any longer so I waved and started walking home.

"Can I come to your home?"

...aaaand I stopped. Dead in my tracks. "Uh... well... where's your Mom and Dad?"

"My Dad works in Philadelphia. He takes the train to work. He's supposed to be home sometime this afternoon- what's afternoon?"

Damnit. "And your Mom?" I was really hoping someone was around to take care of The Kid...

"She's at my friend's home. Can I come to your home?"

"Well... uh... not now, but I'll tell you what, I'll bring Roland out to visit you, okay?"

"Okay!"

So I went inside and let Roland out of his crate. At that point I was going to change, but then I saw a little head at about the right height bobbing outside my big window. The Kid was waiting at my door. I promised myself that I would try hard not to get too dirty at the dog park tonight, grabbed Roland's leash and my keys, and walked out the door.

We walked along a little way, and he asked me what Roland was looking around for, and I tried to explain that he was a hunting dog, but he couldn't really hunt. Then he tried to get him to hunt one of the robins that was hopping around. Kid logic. There's more of it on the way. We reached the point where we can either turn around and walk around the complex or go to the dog park, and Roland made it very clear that dog park == WANT. And I told The Kid this.

"Why?"

"So he can go and play with the other dogs."

"Why?"

"Because it's fun!" In retrospect, this was probably not the right thing to say. I bet you can guess what the next words out of his mouth were.

"Can I come too?!?"

"Uh... you had better let your mom know where you're going!"

"Okay!" The Kid said as he ran back.

"I'll come with you!" I figured his mom wouldn't let him go running off with any strange lady, but if she did, then I'd at least know where to deposit him later. "Oh, tell her it's The Angry Geologist in Apartment Plural Zed 5!"

"I live in Thorn-92," The Kid said. "You can come and visit me, but if you come visit more than seven times, my mom will get mad!" Kid logic. Was I this cute when I was his age?

So I met Kid's mom. As I figured, English is definitely not her first language, and The Kid indeed does speak another language at home. At The Kid's insistence, she gave Roland a treat, which he took a little less than gently, because she was holding it so high above his nose. She scolded him a moment in the other language, and waved goodbye to me as she brought him in.

I tried to do the right thing here. I really hope she doesn't think I'm a bad person or going to do anything to her son. I'm wondering if I should try to catch her and explain myself, or maybe write a letter- or do you think she gets it already? I don't know- I've never had a kid follow me home before.

Dogs, cats, fish... add kids to one more thing I can't turn away from my door.

Parents, Pets, and Adulthood

2008-05-12T02:40:52Z

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a pet person. I am always more "myself" when I own and care for some sort of animal. That's the way I am, I've accepted that, and so have my friends.

My parents, on the other hand... well, there's a reason why I put off telling them about Roland.

Case in point: yesterday, I was walking by a yard sale, and I found a 30 gallon fish tank and stand with all the accoutrement for $10. Yes- ten dollars. The stand needed a fresh coat of paint, but I mean... that's giving the damn thing away! It's all glass, very sturdy, the filter even has a built in foamer chamber! Of course, after I got a verbal assurance from my neighbor that everything worked, I paid her the ten dollars and picked up the thing right away.

The stand is mostly repainted. There's a few little things I would like to add, but those can be done later- besides, I need some balsa wood for that (and there will be pictures, so keep your pants on). Today, I added the gravel, the water, the Java Ferns from my old betta bowl (RIP Levi- sorry I didn't catch your swimbladder problem in time), doused it with stress-zyme, and started up the filter. I'm going to let it stabilize for a few days, and maybe start adding fish on Tuesday or Wednesday.

While I'm not an advanced fishkeeper yet, I am not a novice aquarist. To some extent, I know what I'm doing, and if I ever think I'm getting myself into trouble, you can bet I will spam the fora with my issues.

And, like most things in my adult life, my parents seem to think I'm going to be incompetent at this. My bettas have lived at least three years per fish, including the ones that were sick when I got them, and I was working under adverse conditions (very limited space). I didn't tell them about the saltwater tank I had in grad school, because I knew they'd run with this again, though when they saw it, they didn't seem to knock my roommate for taking poor care of "his" fish. The last time that they know that I had a fish tank was when I was a kid- there were two goldfish in a 10 gallon tank- okay, okay, I was a stupid pet owner, but in my defense I WAS EIGHT and I think that at a quarter century I can do a LITTLE FRACKING BETTER THIS TIME.

*huff*

It's okay, though. They've always been way too overprotective of me. I just have to wait them out, and prove to them and myself that I am a responsible adult. They'll come around. Eventually. I can be patient.

Besides, a school of neon tetras are going to look great under that blue light.

Iron Man II- I have problems

2008-05-11T15:20:40Z

Last night I dreamed a bit about Iron Man, and when I woke up this morning, I was thinking about how well it would fit into a steampunk world...

And this idea isn't going to let me go, is it?

Iron Man

2008-05-11T01:32:31Z

As it turns out, I am not the last person on earth to see this movie. My brother is.

I just got done shouting at him on the phone to rectify this.

I also think I have a problem- I believe that I have been to some of the places where they shot the opening scene based on the basalt flows. No, I don't think. I know.

I may post more after I get done fangirling. As it is now, I don't think that I could give a coherent review without descending into teh capslocks of awesome. I should be done by the time the next one comes out.

I also have plans for May 22. :)

The Angry Geologist on the Firing Line

2008-05-08T23:27:24Z

Well, I'm back from Indiana! It was kind of a whirlwind trip- I left Monday, worked my not inconsiderable ass off Tuesday and Wednesday, and flew back Wednesday night. We've got about a year left on the project if nothing goes wrong, so I'll probably be going back out there again. Not the least because of the waders.

To make a long and convoluted story short, we had to do stream gauging out there, and they didn't have a pair of waders that would fit me. Therefore, I had to run out and buy a pair before I left, something I never, ever saw myself doing in my entire life, kind of right up there with inventing my own language. Since I cost them $119.45 on top of everything else, I will probably be heading out there to do the gauging for the duration- not a bad thing.

The site is part of the former Jefferson Proving Ground, a giant swath of land in Southern Indiana that the military bought or eminent-domained, and bombed the shit out of from 1940 to 1995. This is a lot of firepower, and not everything went boom the first time. It's rumored to contain the greatest concentration of unexploded ordinance in the Northern 48 States. We're looking at ways that certain elements from certain weapons could migrate off site (I won't say too much here, but if you go to the JPG website, you could probably figure it out).

Now, the good news is that they couldn't have picked a much better spot in terms of groundwater protection- the limestone contains dissolution fractures to a certain depth, then becomes as crystalline as it gets. The upshot of this is that we don't have to worry about contaminants getting into the deep groundwater system and heading off to Parts Unknown. Pretty much the only way it can get offsite is through the surface water, and that's what we're working on now.

The Army gave/sold the land to the Fish and Wildlife Service, and all but a little bit up North that's still in use by the Indiana National Guard and the bit South of the firing line that's a park, housing, and industrial complex, is now the Big Oaks National Wildlife Refuge. BONWR is about 50,000 acres, so this is nothing to sneeze at. And it is absolutely gorgeous. They do controlled burns to keep the grasslands open, so when I was there the wildflowers were just (ha) exploding. The deer, racoons, and turkeys are isolated enough that they don't yet think that humans= guns or food. They'll run, but not without staring at you for quite a bit wondering what the heck you are. Box turtles, salamanders, snakes and toads run the gravel roads without any fear. The bugs are just as unbelievable*, and I've never seen so many Things in streams, running from freshwater molluscs the size of quahogs, to flatworms, to things with entirely too many legs.

It's pretty much as close to heaven as I can imagine... and then you see the bombs. In the area we were in, which wasn't cleared for public use, they were everywhere. They ranged in size from small ones that would fit in a pint glass to giants longer than your arm and thicker than your leg. That's why they made it a refuge- it would cost billions upon billions of dollars to dispose of the UXO on site, so they just leave it go. There's something to be said about how quickly nature heals itself, but I think the more depressing thought is more true: the only way we can let something be like this, without plastic bottles in the streams, without garbage bags in the trees, without McMansions or McDonalds, is to bomb the shit out of it so that no one can use it for anything else. Perhaps we can look forward to some new Middle East wildlife refuges in the future.

Still, if you're ever stuck in Southern Indiana, this place is worth a trip. Stop in at the Fish and Wildlife office, and go birding, hunting, fishing, amateur archeology-ing, take lots of pictures, and be safe. If I get the chance to revisit, you know I'm going to.

*If you go hiking there, I recommend having a trusted partner check you for ticks afterward. I pulled two lone star ticks off of my person after I got home, and at least one was embedded. Incidentally, I have memorized the symptoms of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

The Angry Geologist's Gin and Tonic

2008-05-03T19:17:24Z

You will need:

One bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin
One bottle of random store brand tonic
One lime

1.) Buy the gin at the liquor store. Get into a conversation about prospecting with the cashier about gold prospecting in Pennsylvania (?) after you tell her you're a geologist.

2) Buy the lime and the tonic at the grocery store.

3) Get home and start drinking immediately after you try to brush your dog's teeth.

4) Realize you have no tumblers, so mix it in a pint glass that you stole from your ex-roommate instead.

5) Pour in two fingers of gin. Cut an eighth of the lime and squeeze the juice in the glass. Pour enough tonic to fill it three quarters of the way.

6) Taste. Realize there is not enough gin. Pour more in.

7) Drink. Drink again. Drain the glass to all but about a finger left.

8) Wonder how this would taste with cranberries. Add one dried cranberry to the glass. Drink the remainder. Eat gin-soaked cranberry.

9) Wheeeeeeeee!