Young male mockingbird stud seeking single female mockingbird with an appreciation for car alarms and backup horns. Come help feather my nest in a spacious, well-wooded apartment complex where the residents feed the birds! Must be willing to relocate, no chicks, serious inquiries only, please.
For the past four nights, a bachelor mockingbird has taken up residence in the tree outside my bedroom window. He has been singing his heart out nonstop every night all night.
This was funny maybe the first time.
I can no longer sleep with the windows open- hell, I can no longer sleep! I had to jam cotton balls in my ears and tell my dog to wake me if the smoke alarm went off, and this was after the shot of whiskey to knock me out. By the way- from newly acquired personal experience, involuntary sleep deprivation is torture, and anyone who says otherwise is banned from my journal effective immediately.
At about 2:30 AM this morning, I looked up in desperation why he was up at such an ungodly hour, and I learned something new. Did you know male mockingbirds sing at night when they're seeking a mate? I didn't either! Mockingbirds are migratory, and are protected species- even if it were legal to harass him, I couldn't bring myself to do it. So, I'm putting out the above personal ad on his behalf. If a female doesn't show up soon, I'm going to look forward to this until the middle of June.